“Bonfire of The Vanities”
Warnings: total chaos…
Malcolm: On the first day of Spring in the first year of our Watcher, The Founders arrived on this land that they would later name Oceanside. Today, we commemorate that fateful day which brought us to our new home, on the very spot where we met each other for the first time. Let’s all rejoice and make merry, for it is Founders Day!
The whole town turns out* to celebrate the first ever Spring holiday festival, Founders Day, held at the first community park, Founders Field.
*Ages Teen and up, that is. Adding all of the toddlers would have been a nightmare!
After Mayoral hopeful Malcolm Landgraab X‘s rousing speech, he descends the bandstand to mingle with the citizens of his town. It’s a pleasure to see old and new residents — SimNationals and island Natives alike — coming together to celebrate what he created. Malcolm heads towards the new science hobbyist Howard Giblet and introduces himself. Bright, young minds are always welcome in Oceanside.
Newsie Frankie Cloak, transitioning to Adult in the Summer, announces to fellow Newsie Calvin O’Gill how excited she is to get her very own bungalow next season. No more sleeping on the beach for her! Calvin is totes jelly.
The third Newsie — with my favorite name — Honey Burr, finds a quiet corner to paint, shying away from the other folks.
Right next to Minka and Kendrick, Natural Scientist Yasmin Onnen rebukes the advances of one-time fling Amaryllis Robbins.* Yaz’s live-in love Driver Noelee Andrews steps aside to let her girl handle her stalker on her own.
*formerly Marilla Robbins, but now that she’s a bonafide resident she would rather go by her full name Amaryllis. That and I’m not too fond of the name Marilla so I changed it. 😜
Grocery store owner and farmer Owen Goodacre sweetly serenades his wife Priest Becca Goodacre. Owen has had a hard time of it as of late — with almost losing his beloved to starvation, worrying that he won’t be able to provide for his huge family, and feeling that he’s missing out on his bro-bonding with Malcolm — but having Becca by his side helps to ease his anxieties.
Hot off of his win from the last time they exchanged blows, Kendrick fights back. He’s done taking shit from the high and mighty Minka Yomoshoto.
Amaryllis is more embarrassed then hurt by Yasmin’s rejection. She doesn’t want a relationship or anything but dang, why does Yaz have to be so cold? Noelee is blissfully unaware that Yaz and Amaryllis woohooed previously. Right now she’s beaming with pride that Yasmin said no to Amaryllis’ advances. Maybe this meant she was finally ready for a deeper commitment…
Business Reviewer Beckett Graham keeps to himself, away from the crowd. He’s afraid of the retribution that may come after all of his scathing reviews of the residents’ businesses. However Beckett will never back down in his pursuit of truthful journalism — no matter who he might offend.
Scientist Achilles Brook chats up Social Worker Felicity Wayward. The two science enthusiasts have a lot in common and are becoming great friends. It helps to ease the loneliness that they both share.
Another new hobbyist, Kiki Bird — Arts & Crafts aficionado — shows off her considerable chops belting out a tune.
Kiki: *sings* All is quiet on Founders Day. A world in white gets underway…
Cosmetologist Brodie Mason congratulates buddy Lars Shadow on his appointment as the new Post Master, Brodie’s former position. Lars is excited to take over the Oceanside Post Office and to move into his new digs with his girl Edwina.
Minka: Kendrick is so gross! I’m so glad he never knocked me up!
I’m sure that we are ALL glad you never had his spawn!
Honey Burr decides to paint something that will represent this momentous occasion. She hopes that Mr. Landgraab will like it.
Garden Clubber turned Nanny Heaven Gallo investigates the commemorative tree stump and finds a dart board!
Heaven: I love throwing sharp pointy things!
I bet you do…
After all this time and six kids, Architect Fitz Biltmore still can’t keep his hands off of his wife Police Cadet Sadie Biltmore. Town Treasurer Vivian Landgraab giggles at the lovebirds. She may not be fond of Sadie but she can’t help but be moved by their loving display.
Garden Clubber Tiara Hough saunters over to chat with her buddy Heaven.
Heaven: If you’ve come to rough me up because I left the Garden Club, you better turn around right now. You may be my friend but I have a dart and I’m not afraid to use it!
Tiara: *As the dart narrowly misses her* Sheesh Heav, no. I’m not here for that. I just want to talk. I may have a proposition for you that won’t cause anyone to get hurt…
Heaven: I’m listening…
Dancer Diego Bossanova is the first to light a sparkler for the celebration.
Matisse cheers him on!
Vivian spots new resident Rowena De Hommel and is instantly drawn to her high-end clothes and accessories. Rowena is definitely someone snobby Vivian would want as a friend. Vivian even likes that Rowena acts like she wants nothing to do with her. Getting to know the mysterious, aloof Rowena is at the top of Viv’s to-do list!
Kiki: *still singing* I want to be with you, be with you night and day. Nothing changes on Founders Day!
While Amaryllis introduces herself to Lars, Garden Clubber Bruce Jelleff and Yasmin cheer on Diego’s sparkler display.
Brodie caught wind of Minka and her pokey finger and she’s none too pleased.
Brodie: Leave my man alone or you’re going to get your ass kicked again!
So much for Malcolm’s kumbaya moment.
Malcolm grins at all of the citizens enjoying themselves. This is what I hoped for, thinks Malcolm. All of the residents and future residents coming together and having a good time. 😊
Noelee joins in on the sparkler fun. 😊
Owen: Hey there Red, you got something on your vest.
Achilles: I do?
Owen: Yoink! Ha, you suckers fall for that all the time!
Owen’s “jokes” are going a bit too far.
As soon as his woman walks away Garden Club Kingpin Rocky Kotsomiti taunts his former bubble juice partner Kent. He can’t let this traitor think he can just walk away from the business so easily. There will be blood…
Becca is so happy that Malcolm’s Founders Day celebration is a success. She knew that if he put his faith into the hands of the Watcher everything would go well.
New Firefighter Daisy Dalpozzo heads to the tree stump chess table and starts a game.
Owen: HAHAHAHAH! What a Goopy!!
Everysim is pretty embarrassed for Achilles because of Owen’s dumb pranks. Fitz, who has had his own issues with Owen, is down-right perturbed!
Kent won’t stand to be intimidated by some greasy haired mobster! He violently pokes his one-time bestie back!
Kent: I may hate you but that Rowena De Hommel is a hottie. Good job landing that one!
Rocky: I hate you too, but I completely agree!
Music and Dance enthusiast Edwina Goddard takes a moment from the celebration to hold hands with her true love Lars. She’s never too far away from her man.
Achilles has had a rough time since he moved into Oceanside. He’s sick and tired of the way the Founders think they can treat sims. He has had enough and he’s not going to take it anymore!
Amaryllis still has her eye on Yaz. Maybe she was just acting that way around her girl, thinks Amaryllis. Now that she’s alone maybe they pick up where they left off…
Yelling at Owen has Achilles’ blood boiling. His thoughts go back to the other Founder he needs to deal with — Diego Bossanova.
Tiara takes the darts away from Heaven so she won’t get one in the eye.
Tiara: Rocky is interested in the goings-on at Landgraab Manor. If you can help him out maybe he won’t have to send you to the Grim Reaper for desertion.
Owen knows he shouldn’t take out his frustrations and insecurity about his future on Achilles. He thought it would make him feel better to make another sim feel as bad as he does — but it didn’t. He may look like a tough cowboy on the outside but on the inside he’s still a frightened little sim.
Matisse tries to soothe her man’s bruised ego. She doesn’t know what is going on between Kent and Rocky but she knows that Kent just isn’t himself when Rocky’s around. The ex-journalist in her wants to push further and get the whole story but she’ll be patient and wait for Kent to tell her when he’s ready.
Heaven: If I do this I’m out for good, right? No retaliation?
Heaven begrudgingly agrees to offer up intel on Malcolm in exchange for her life. She doesn’t want to do it. Malcolm and Vivian have been nothing but nice to her but she has no other alternative.
Fitz jumps in to test his skill against the new Fire Chief.
Ever since Sadie saved her and her child’s life Vivian has loosened up her disdain for Sadie Biltmore. Since today is about loving thy neighbor Vivian congratulates Sadie for doing a superior job in the hood. Sadie is taken aback by the friendliness. Must be Mommy brain, thinks Sadie. Vivian Landgraab could never be this nice otherwise!
Fitz is a better opponent then Daisy thought!
Becca congratulates Malcolm on his new baby on the way. She knows it must have been some feat to get Vivian to agree to have another one.
Becca: The Watcher will be most pleased that there is another soul for her to watch over.
Kiki: *still singing* IIIII will be with you againnnn. IIIII will be with you againnnn.
Rowena and Rocky slow dance to Kiki’s soft crooning. Rocky likes her new look. She looks classy, all the way. Rowena gets him and his struggles to rise to the top. Maybe, eventually, she can be his Queenpin.
After Rocky visited Bruce at work he got on his case about Paragon belittling him at his party. Rocky explained that his Underboss should be somesim that everysim fears. If he didn’t make this right maybe Bruce wouldn’t be his right hand anymore. Maybe, he wouldn’t be anymore. Afraid for his life Bruce confronts Paragon during the celebration. He needs to show him you can’t mess with the Garden Club!
Bruce: Don’t you know who I am? Do not fuck with me!
Fitz and Daisy have drawn a crowd.
As Rowena slow dances with Rocky her eyes scan the park looking for potential marks. Rowena’s thrilled that no one seems to recognize her as the Oceanside Cat Burglar. These fools, thinks Rowena. Now that she’s a resident they don’t stand a chance.
Owen heads over to his best buddy Malcolm to make lewd comments about Doctor Minka. Making sims laugh always cheers Owen up.
Bruce showed him! He hopes Rocky was watching.
Their serious conversation ends when Felicity stops by to watch. Felicity really hopes to make friends with some of the gals in the hood. These two look super friendly!
Nothing riles Minka up faster than seeing Brodie and Kendrick together being affectionate. She knows she should be done with them and happy in her new marriage, but Minka hates looking like a fool in front of the whole town. Every time she sees them she sees red.
While Mechanic Connor Firestone lights a sparkler Diego worries about his pregnant wife.
Calista lights the commemorative bonfire representing the destruction of the old, ringing in the new year.
Howard: Woooo! That’s a fire!!
The couples get extra flirty after the lighting of the bonfire…
Well, not all of the couples. Bruce asserts his muscle once again to Paragon. No sim is going to push around Bruce Jelleff anymore.
Vivian saunters over to the great tree stump to mingle with the other ladies. Still bitter after being passed over for Minka’s club the Blue Hat Society, Viv would like to make a new circle of friends.
Being one of Kent’s best friends Paragon knows all about the Garden Club and their scare tactics. Paragon’s not afraid of any of them, let alone this wimpy excuse for a sim. He retaliates and slaps Bruce dead in the face.
The bonfire is really going now as Calvin and Handyman Abbot Moulden dance beside it.
Malcolm grabs the fiddle trying his best to accompany Kiki’s lovely singing. She leaves soon after.
After all of that singing Kiki takes a break to grab a slice of berry pie. It just looks too good to pass up!
Howard couldn’t let Malcolm play by himself, not when he’s been so nice to him and welcomed him into the community…
Howard: *sings* The reaper went down to Oceanside, he was looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind cause he was way behind and he was willing to make a deal.
Malcolm: *wails on the fiddle*
Beckett: What are they even fighting about?
Who even remembers anymore…
Rocky and Rowena however are getting a kick out of watching Bruce and Paragon go back and forth.
Rocky: I knew he had it in him.
Heaven: OK, stand right there Officer Sadie. I bet I can hit the bulls-eye without splitting your hair.
Sadie: I bet you §100 you’ll never make it!
SADIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!
Vivian: I’ll take that bet!
Minka: And this is how Sadie Biltmore dies…
Since there isn’t enough fire at the celebration, Calista lights the campfire near the pond.
Owen silently gives his woman a little push on the swing.
Beckett has been staring at the golden goddess that is Rowena De Hommel all day. Oblivious to the fact that Rocky has been all over her, Beckett waltzes over and compliments Rowena on her irresistible beauty.
Surprisingly Rocky does nothing. He knows what she’s doing. Since Rowena can no longer break into sims’ homes she needs some other way to make a living… Rowena has found a potential mark.
Even Tiara can’t believe Heaven made the shot without fatally stabbing Sadie!
Educator Selena Firestone is really enjoying Malcolm and Howard’s fiddle music. She gives them both a big tip!
Owen stares into the dancing fire hoping to find an answer to his problems.
Vivian: Well Tiara, you tried!
Tiara is rubbish at darts, but she’s glad she can still be friends with Heaven. After everything that has gone down she’s not too sure if she even wants to be involved with the Garden Club anymore. If Heaven can find a way out maybe she could too…
Rocky meets Kiki and likes what he sees. Her hair is almost as fabulous as his. He wonders what shampoo she uses…
Matisse draws a small crowd with her spectacular sparkler display.
Connor comes over to “show the girls how it’s done.” 🙄
Tiara and Vivian excitedly gab about her pregnancy but Vivian excludes Minka from the conversation, doing her best to ignore her. Minka doesn’t know what’s going on. Why is her bestie all of a sudden so cold to her?
With Howard gone, Selena joins Malcolm on the drums. Who knew she could play?
Suddenly a fight breaks out, destroying the peaceful day Malcolm had so hoped for. Diego and Achilles go at it again.
*They’re very stealthy with their fights. I never catch it until they are actually going at it*
Minka isn’t too worried about her husband — she knows he can handle himself as he’s proven so many times before. She hates to see him fight, though. All of this is her fault, she feels. If she had never let Achilles into her life this would never had happened.
Calista: The Natives are getting restless. Time for hot dogs!
Becca silently prays to the Watcher to stop this barbaric display!
Daisy hopes the fighting will distract Fitz enough to make a wrong move. *spoiler alert, it doesn’t*
Victory is Diego’s — like always…
Poor Achilles just can’t win. Everything he does to try to redeem himself makes him look more and more like a loser. One day Diego Bossanova will get what’s coming to him… one day…
Kendrick: Minka is so gross! I’m so glad I never knocked her up!
Rocky: *thinks* We’re going to make so much money off of these stupid sims…
Kendrick, fueled by the Diego/Achilles carnage, attacks poor Minka while she’s all alone.
Minka frantically looks around for her husband or her friends but no sim comes to her defense.
After Malcolm finished his set Paragon joins Selena on the guitar and Howard returns to sing along.
Howard: *sings* Turning away from the light becoming adult. Turning into my soul. She don’t think straight. No-no-no she don’t think straight.
Paragon: *wails on guitar*
Achilles turns all of his rage on Minka.
Achilles: *pokes* This is all your fault! You should have left me in the caves! I was happy before I met you!
Finally away from the others Beckett takes a chance and sweet-talks Rowena. He knows he doesn’t have a lot but what he does have he would gladly spend on a special lady like her. Rowena giggles at his advances all the while calculating how much she can get from him.
Noelee thinks today couldn’t have gone any better. She’s so happy to have Yasmin in her life.
Kent thinks the same about Matisse.
Rocky menacingly stands next to Heaven as she eats her pie. Heaven seems afraid to speak or look up at her former boss. Sadie, still trying to put together the connection between Kent and Rocky, takes notice. What is his deal? Why are so many sims shaken up by him when he comes near them?
Amaryllis tries again to make the moves on Yaz! Noelee is a bit concerned. Why is Amaryllis trying so hard? Doesn’t she see they’re together? Did Yasmin lead her on…
Kiki grabs a sparkler…
and Kent takes notice.
Matisse: Stop looking at her like that…
The campfire is out and still Owen has no idea what to do to make him happy again. Maybe he should talk to the Watcher like Becca always says, thinks Owen. Nah, that’s just crazy talk!
The hot dogs and pie are a hit with the residents!
Heaven: You can light my fire, cowboy.
After making a complete fool out of herself the last time she was around him Felicity awkwardly sits next to Malcolm. Matisse told Vivian all about Felicity throwing herself on her husband. She’s got her stink-eye on this heifer.
Howard: *sings* Cause you know I’m on fire. You know I’m on fire so stub me out. I’m on fire!
For a science guy Howie really knows how to jam. Selena loves it!
Sadie: Ya know, I can put baddies away all day long, but without courts and lawyers there’s really nothing I can do besides letting them go free. We need some kind of judicial system, Vivian.
*This has been Sadie Biltmore: Unlikely Voice of Reason*
Heaven: Weee! I got a sparkler!
Even the feuding Kendrick and Minka have to smile at Heaven’s childlike wonder.
However, it doesn’t last very long…
nothing ever does.
Heaven: Look, I’m writing my name in the sky! H-E-A, look you guys!
*murder and chaos behind her*
Well, we know whose side you’re on Achilles.
Achilles: KILL HER!!!
Matisse: Malcolm did a decent job putting this together considering he was fired on his first day and all.
The whole town is terribly disturbed by all of this fighting. Wasn’t today supposed to be about peace and love?
Lars takes over the mic…
Lars: *sings* Watching the people get lairy is not very pretty, I tell thee. Walking through town is quite scary and not very sensible either…
Lars: *sings* Laaaa-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la….
This won’t do at all, thinks Malcolm. There cannot be fighting on Founders Day! Today was supposed to be a celebration of love and life, not cruelty. He needs to figure out another outlet for his citizens’ anger. This was madness!
Calista intervenes by lighting the ceremonial fireworks. Maybe they will stop fighting and watch the amazing display?
Sadie: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
Poor Calista! She tried to save the day and it literally blew up in her face!
Kendrick successfully beat up his pregnant ex-girlfriend. What a stud.
Calista throws all caution to the wind and lights the other ceremonial firework…
All: Wooo!! Hip Hip!!
All: Watcher Bless Oceanside! Yay!
In the end most of the sims had a great time on Founders Day.
New love blossomed…
friendships were made…
talents were unveiled…
Cindy Lou: Watcher he’s awful. Make him stop.
old loves were cemented…
and residents showed how much they loved their hood!
Malcolm: We did it, Viv. We brought everysim together for a — mostly — peaceful day!
Vivian: Yes we did. Now to get ready for tax day! Let’s see how neighborly they are then.
As Amaryllis tries to woo her with song she is shut down –again– by Yasmin.
Yasmin: Look Marilla, your a lovely girl and we had a great time, but it’s over — you hear me? Noelee and are together — more than just that — we’re in love. I’m never going to hurt her again. Please understand that.
Yasmin: The right girl is out there for you. It just isn’t me.
Amaryllis finally got the hint. She heads over to Noelee and shakes her hand.
Amaryllis: You’re a lucky girl. Yasmin is one of a kind.
Maybe there’s something more than Amaryllis being a stalker, thinks Noelee.
Honey finally finishes her masterpiece. Her ode to Founders Day!
What? The Hell?
Honey: I call it Founding Frieda! She represents freedom and liberty! She’s Oceanside!
No, she’s Becca in Green on Pink and it’s the same bloody painting that Matisse does!!
Honey: I can’t wait to give it to Mr. Landgraab! ☺️️
By the time the sun set most of the revelers had headed home. Spring is here and the start a new year. What will Year 02 bring to the sleepy town of Oceanside?
- For the Founders Day celebration the only sim I controlled was Calista. Everyone else was left to go hog wild and do whatever they wanted.
- The hardest part of this update was trying to keep the sims from leaving the lot! It seemed that couples kept leaving together which leads me to believe that I need somewhere for them to woohoo in the park 😉.
- Kiki’s song is New Year’s Day by U2 (with some lyrics changed…)
- Howard’s first song is Devil Went Down To Georgia by Charlie Daniels Band (again with some lyrics changed…)
- Howard’s second song is Banquet by Bloc Party
- Lars’ song is I Predict A Riot by Kaiser Chiefs
Thanks For Stopping By!!! ^.^